Heimlich Throw Down

Hello again reader,

Tales do I have aplenty. And boy do I have a big one tonight!

In the course of my restaurant experience, I have seen many things, worked with many people, and encountered many situations. One such situation that I recently became aware of was such that didn't actually happen to me, but a friend of mine-- also a server.

Now dear reader, if there is anything any of you would value it would be your livelihood right?? I mean, what person (someone who isn't suffering from depression of course) would choose death over life? Right?! I mean, c'mon.

That being said, what person who was given the opportunity to be saved by someone else when they themselves could not help themselves out of their "death moment", would not be grateful? I mean lets be real here. If you were shot and someone stopped to administer first aid, if you drowned and someone resuscitated you, if you for example choked on a piece of steak and your server performed the heimlich on you, you would be grateful right? And furthermore, dear reader, you would be so grateful that you would express it enormously! At least, I would. But never-you-mind, if you wouldn't. Not everyone can be blessed with common decency.

I think you can guess where I'm going with this. Some time ago, a friend of mine was working his station, checking on his guests, and he happened to be walking by a particular table of his. A party of two. The gentleman who was out with this lady happened to be away from his booth at that moment. The server friend of mine, Mike*, noticed there was something not quite right. He looked, saw the lady keeled over, with her arms flailing about. Quickly, he realized she was choking. She wasn't able to dislodge the food on her own, and she was quite literally turning BLUE. Quick as a bolt of lightening, he dashed to her, picked her up from her booth, and pushed towards her belly for dear life! As if it was a movie, the piece of steak went flying from her mouth and on to the table, and she gasped, choked, for air. Now, you would think she would be thankful, hell you would think she would at least look up and nod her head, but of course gratitude was too much to ask. 

She sat back down, her husband joined her, and they finished their dinner. The patrons amongst the other table seemed exuberant towards Mike for thinking so quickly. But, no, not the guest who actually was saved by Mike's sharp mind. 

In the very least, reader, one would hope they would leave a decent tip as a way to say "hey, thanks for saving my life. I dont have good people skills, but I'm forever grateful." But did they? NO. Did they at least leave a customary 15%? NO. Did they at least leave 10%? NO. Did they leave anything? NOT A CENT!

To that I say, 

Fuck off. And as always, 

I hope you get food poisoning. 

XoXo,

The waitress